There’s a growing narrative that society and women don’t need men, which, in a period when men are often openly disrespected. At the same time, women are praised despite misandry, which seems to fit a certain storyline. But let’s pause and test that claim against the world we actually live in: the jobs, the risks, the expectations, and the outcomes. This isn’t about blame. It’s about truth. It’s about acknowledging what men actually do, understanding what’s shifting, why it matters, and how we can help men without hurting anybody.

By the end of this post, you’ll understand why women, families, and society at large need men—and I’m basing this on data, not opinion. So if you’re absolutely determined to die on the hill that we don’t need men, I’ll sincerely hope you never have to find out what the world without them would actually look like.

Men keep many essential parts of civilization running

• Look at infrastructure: power-line installers and repairers have fewer than 2% women; electricians about 3%; roofers roughly 4%; trash & recycling collectors ~11%; water/waste-treatment operators ~8% women. (2024 U.S. labour averages)

• In construction overall, women are about 11% of workers.

• In defense, public safety, and energy: active duty US forces ~82% men; combat arms fields still well over 90% male; special operations ~90%+ male; policing about 86.5% men; oil & gas ~80% men in U.S., often ~97% men offshore.

• Risk is part of the deal: in 2023, over 91% of workforce fatalities were men.
  When someone flips a switch and expects the lights to come on, chances are a man climbed a pole in the rain to make it happen.

The hidden crisis men face

• In 2023, the suicide rate among men was about four times higher than for women; men make up roughly 80% of suicide deaths.

• Economics shifted: the old “male breadwinner” identity hasn’t vanished yet the ground beneath it has. Prime-age male labour-force participation has trended downward for decades.

• Housing prices have soared: in 2022 U.S. home price-to-income ratio hit ~5.6 (up from ~4.1 just three years prior), meaning traditional provider roles are increasingly impossible.

• Workplace norms changed: the culture of head-to-head competition that many men built an identity around has given way to new rules of compliance, conduct, collaboration and hybrid styles.

• Because many men anchor identity to provision, protection and work, the hit when those roles erode is not just financial—it’s psychological.

What it feels like from the inside

Men often find themselves in a psychological stack of pressures:

• Defeat: job loss, breakup, health setback.

• Entrapment: the “I can’t fix this and there’s no exit” moment, two painful beliefs amplified by culture: I don’t belong and I’m a burden.

• Burdensomeness: doing invisible math—what I cost, the space I take, the things I can’t fix.

• Thwarted belonging: loss of crew, meaningful connection, safe arenas to say “I’m not okay”.

• The 3 a.m. mind: chest hurting, racing thoughts, morning heavier than night.
  Yes: pain doesn’t clock out, and many men carry thousands of tiny wounds that never healed. Under the weight, belonging feels far away, and the belief “I really am the burden” sneaks in. It’s a lie—but it feels real. Our job is to break that stack, restore belonging, lower the burden story, buy time, and make tomorrow reachable.

Why this matters to everyone

• When men are told they are unnecessary but are still relied on for the riskiest, lowest-status labour, the message becomes: “You exist, but we don’t value you.”

• Everyone loses when men feel invisible, expendable or unwanted. Families, communities, society at large suffer when half the population is silently slipping.

• Women gained opportunities and options, absolutely. But the economy, infrastructure and social systems didn’t evolve in a way that gives everyone choice, stability or fulfilment.

• If feminism and equality are not also matched by new structures that honour both men and women in their roles, then we might have more “options” but not more fulfilment, peace or resilience.

What you can do

For couples or partners

• Set expectations early. Talk openly: what does “provision” mean in your relationship? If both partners earn similarly, what feels like contribution/worth for each?

• Recognise and value purpose. Many men find meaning in earning, protecting, building—even if that takes a different form now. Appreciation doesn’t require you to need that purpose from him to value it in him.

• Update the platform. Provision isn’t just money. It can mean mastery, trade-craft, mentorship, community protection, and emotional strength.

For society, policy and systems

• Build male-friendly performance lanes: expand apprenticeships, trades pipelines, fast-track certifications, second-chance hiring. Re-link work + dignity for men.

• Address structural imbalances: housing affordability, legal fairness in divorce when both spouses earn, tax/treatment of providers.

• Honour the work men do. Celebrate blue-collar excellence, infrastructure roles, men who build and maintain the backbone of civilisation.

• Rethink therapy for men. Traditional talk-therapy doesn’t always resonate. Goal-oriented, skill-based, action-focused interventions (e.g., programs like “Man Therapy”, “Men’s Sheds”) may reach men more effectively.

• Meet men where they are. They often want recognition, value, clear roles, respect. They’re not all narcissistic “Chads”. Most are calm, hardworking, loving, generous, kind—and overlooked.

Final thoughts

Look, I’m not saying men need supremacy. They need a place to stand. A clear role. Respect for the work they do that keeps the lights on. If culture continues to say “you’re unnecessary” while still demanding provision and risk, we shouldn’t be surprised men are struggling.

If you’re the person in a man’s life who can say: I see you. I hear you. I chose you. I value you.—you might just flip the light switch back on for someone who thought their fuse was burnt out.
To the men reading: I appreciate you. I admire you. I respect the hell out of you—because I couldn’t do what you do.
To the women reading: I get that you may not agree. Maybe you won’t. But maybe we can at least agree to disagree—and still build something better together.